Find 100 Ways...

A subtle but deliberate act of Love

As I’m sure you’ve noticed, some of my essays here are centered on the ritual removal of emotional scar tissue. I do this by airing long-buried grievances, the exposure of toxic relationship dynamics, and in some cases, formally declaring the severance of longstanding ties whose chaffing I can no longer bear.

On other occasions, I’m only too happy to share the gifts born of struggle, self-reflection, and therapy sessions. These fruits have brought me life-enhancing friendships, chance encounters with kind and giving people who have had a soul-healing effect on my life, and the remarkable side-effect of, without much urging or struggle, being kind to myself. For no other reason than it seems like the logical and right thing to do.  

So, just in time for Valentine’s Day, I’m putting that 80’s love song by the late, great James Ingraham into practice.

My first impulse was to literally find 100 ways to express self-appreciation, but as the list lengthened, the potency of the ideas seemed to diminish. So I kept it comparatively short, but by all means, add to it, or think of other things that tickle your fancy. Who knows you better than you? And really, who else will cater to you with such precision?

Happy Valentine’s Day - I hope it’s Abundant with Love!

Herewith is a list of (37) ways I may be celebrating tomorrow…and beyond:

·       Make yourself a Tangerine Cake

·       Sit in complete silence for at least five minutes. (It can be addictive)

·       Yoga – no need for a full-blown workout. One or two moves while sitting or standing in place are all it takes to shift the energy

·       Play your favorite music

·       Connect with paper: pick up a magazine or book and realize that long-forgotten skin-to-page tactile delight

·       Along the same lines: dig out a photo album or scrap book and contemplate the good people and memories that comprised your past

·       Take a catnap with a light-blocking sleep mask. Use a weighted blanket if you really want to up your game

·       Speak a little more than you usually do (As women we tend to be unaware of the countless-yet-subtle ways in which we are silenced)

·       Chatterboxes: set a timer and go 15 minutes without speaking. You can DO it!

·       Introverts: randomly initiate a conversation

·       Journal 

·       Moon-Gaze (we’re in a waxing phase)

·       Commit an act of kindness for another

·       Plan a day trip - and take it

·       Stretch

·       Map out a detour for the drive or walk home. Deviate from your well-worn route and stop somewhere new

·       Draw a candle-lit bath

·       Sing your favorite childhood song (mine’s Sing a Song - a two-for-one bonus because I love both the Earth, Wind and Fire and The Carpenters’ versions of two enchanting, but entirely different songs)

·       Make like a disco queen and dance. My forever muse is Donna Summer’s Last Dance, easily summoned on YouTube or I-Tunes

·       Curb the urge to binge-watch from the couch and take yourself to a movie (there’s no better way to focus on plot)

·       Make music. It doesn’t matter if you’re practiced or not (cans and spoons make a great impromptu drum set)

·       Drink a glass of water and marvel at the blessing of it all

·       Cuddle with your pet – it’s a short, precious ride. If you’re petless, hug yourself or someone else

·       Cook yourself a meal that you thoughtfully curate from A to Z – make it an occasion

·       Write a snail mail letter to someone you haven’t talked to in a while – even if they’re in the same zip code

·       Give away something that no longer serves you

·       Buy an inexpensive watercolor kit and give your analytical mind the afternoon off - let your inner-Monet take the lead

·       Take a martial arts class. Even a single intro will be empowering (which reminds me, Krav Maga is on my bucket list)

·       Buy yourself a ticket to an upcoming concert. If your town has free concerts at the library – even better!

·       Which reminds me: plant yourself at your local library for an hour or two. The stillness there is nourishing

·       Immerse your feet in an Epsom salt footbath. Have lotion and thick cotton socks on standby

·       Write on paper 10 great things about yourself

·       Wake yourself up in time to watch the sunrise

·       Interrupt whatever you’re doing later to watch the inimitable gold light of the setting sun

·       Toss out that old, stubby lipstick and treat yourself to a fresh color

·       Table your to-do list and take a respite when you’re tired. A genuine break with your tushie parked and your feet aloft - there’s no glory in exhaustion

·       Look in the mirror, don’t avert your eyes, and smile